You cannot server two masters. You will treasure one and hate the other or follow one and lose site of the other. You cannot serve God and yourself. You cannot serve God and yesterday. You cannot serve God and tomorrow. As for me, I must server the Lord, I have need of a master that forgives. I am too harsh of a master. The sins and what could have been of yesterday are not forgiving. Preparing for tomorrow, if I am not preparing for my Lord, is to prepare for what might be. The day, today, is the day I live and to the Lord. And, being human, I try and sometimes I fail. The Lord forgives.
When I was lost, I searched for the answers within myself and found greed. I foolishly followed greed into all the traps of self-indulgence. The Lord was a voice standing outside of me asking me to let Him into my life. I could not see Him. I had a lord living within and it was myself. And when I failed myself, I said to myself it was because I did not have enough. So I searched after more and it was not enough. I used everything I could to find more, even what I knew was sin, and it was not enough. When searching for ones self alone, one only finds ones self, and it is not enough.
When today was not enough, the memories of yesterday were to blame. The missing part of my childhood, the hidden part of me, was to blame. I was meant to fail; at one time I cried to God and said, “Oh no! Not you too.” If I was created by and from God then it was meant to be this way; God had created me to burn. My past became the lord that guided me. The pains and ills of yesterday where the ruler of my today and must be the road of my tomorrow.
What could be in my tomorrow? That then became the quest. My past was past and its destruction was already upon me. Tomorrow is where the answer must be. The care of tomorrow must come first. Protect myself, protect my dreams and build a treasure for tomorrow. Tomorrow became the lord of today, being built on the crumbled walls of yesterday. There was no today. Anything and everything was to be sacrificed for tomorrow.
But grace abounds, today. Forgiveness is not for the past nor the future, but the day. The Lord or one of His angels came to me in a vision and showed me where I was headed and were the Lord was waiting. The lords of myself, yesterday and tomorrow were bidding for my destruction and they were in control of my soul. My spirit cried to the Lord and He answered. My sins were to be forgiven, but I had to let go of yesterday. The past sins of others or my own could not be my lord. The lord of myself had no power over sins and was not forgiving, so it had to bow to the King of Kings and accept Jesus as my Lord. The cares of tomorrow must be given to the Lord. What do I know of the morrow? Today I must be served by and serve my Lord.
And where in will I serve my Lord. By serving His body and by telling of the good news of His life. The Lord now dwells in me. When I look within for answers, I find the true Lord God. The Lord tells me of a life of giving, a life of living to be giving and receiving. There is a need of learning to give and to receive in thankfulness and for the life to do both. Even in my Lord I am not a perfect man, but by His love and grace I am whole and I stand before God. Yesterday brought me to today and the morrow waits the day and all belong to the Lord.