Love is Not How We Are Felt About

Love is not about how we are felt about, but how we feel. Forgiveness is not about how we are treated but how we treat another. Grace is about how we are loved and how we have been treated. This is love, not that we love God but that He first loved us. Forgive to be forgiven is not a command but a fact. Jesus has already lived, already died and already rose from the dead. Jesus already took our sins to the grave and left them on the other side of death. Love one another is a blessing. We are commanded to love one another but living within love is a blessing. Hate is the result of love being blocked just as dark is the result of light being blocked. Love is real – love exists. Grace is real – grace exists. Forgiveness is real – forgiveness exists.

A human exists as a physical being with needs and memories based on past life and filtered by how he or she feels about others and themselves. In Bible terms that is the old man or dead man (old one) that we put off when we accept Jesus. Confessing Jesus and receiving the Holy Spirit as our helper pulls us into two parts – the old one and the new you in Christ. In the process the old one continues to block or shadow the gifts so that the new you doesn’t reach full potential. When the new you try to follow the example of Jesus and love, the old one casts a shadow and blocks the love with self-importance and “what is in it for me.” When the new you wants and needs forgiveness and looks to God’s grace the old one overshadows grace with how unworthy one is before God. When the new you wants to forgive another that has hurt you the old man overshadows forgiveness with a the need for revenge. The sun is always there; the rotation of the earth moves us from light into the shadows. The Son of God is always there, the old one blocks our ability to see and/or understand.

A friend told me once of a person they care a lot about and once thought they would marry. As time went on, they saw personality traits that conflicted with their own. Some of the traits were the very ones that first attracted them to the person. It has been years and they still remain friends, as a matter of fact they light up a little when they talk about their “friend.” It could be that my friend has allowed the old one in them to block their true feelings of love. As one lets go of the old one and it moves further away, it blocks less and less of the light of God that reveals to one grace, forgiveness and love. As the old one moves away, we see less and less of the personality traits of another as interfering with our own and more of how they compliment us. As we see less of ourselves we see more of the union of all into the body of Christ. Even the traits that continue to intrude on our personality become less important as the old one’s shadow becomes less and God’s light more.

Jesus took the old one to the grave and left him or her on the other side of death. The only power the old one has is what you give him or her. When we continue to try to be our own righteousness, we give power to the old one. What we do is never enough and we become resentful and seek to become righteous by blaming others for our lacking. Jesus is our righteousness – we can never be our own righteousness. In our attempt to be righteous we strengthen the old one. We have to accept Jesus as our Lord and our righteousness. Remember Jesus is a great servant. Jesus has taken our burden and completed it for us. Our burden now is not for ourselves but for others. As Jesus did not live or die for Himself but for others, we also are alive for others. Think about it like this, your right hand does nothing for itself. It assists with feeding the body and by way of the mouth and other body parts the hand is fed. The right hand cannot even wash itself, but depends on the left hand. In turn the right hand washes the left. Knowing that does not change one. Living is what changes us. With the Helper, the Holy Spirit, we are able to love unselfishly. What does it mean to love unselfishly? Does the right hand resent the duty of washing the left? Does the right hand accuse the left hand of being weaker and not carrying an equal load? Unselfishly means forgiving. Fore means in front, near or before. Giving before it is required or near when it is required. Forgiveness is then giving before, as Jesus gave us life before we were born, or giving near, once the need is known. It is not waiting for someone to ask for it, it is in advance, but once they have asked it is near – not delaying.

Love is not what we get out of a relationship, but what we put into one. As others put love into a relationship we benefit by receiving but we cannot demand or take love. God started love flowing by loving us first. God so loved the world that He sent His Son. God continues to send love in the form of the Holy Spirit. God gives us everything we need, all we need to do is accept and receive. The most difficult thing we will ever do is let go of ourselves. Once we have, grace, forgiveness and love is given to us. Even before we let go – these things are given before to help us let go. While we hold on to ourselves, we are overshadowing the gifts of God. Our rules, our hang-ups, our ways of thinking, our ideas of being righteous are more important than another person that Jesus died to preserve. Let go and see the other person as God does, as Jesus Christ.

 

© 2004 Tim D. Coulter Sr.